Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Kate The Misanthrope … With Hope?

Two members of my team came all the way from Florida to visit me this weekend. Team? Huh? They are the crux of the KBTVonline team but, hey, they are also my best friends. There are times when they refer to me as their “boss,” and I look over my shoulder and wonder about whom they’re speaking. Then, I’m like: “It’s me! Who knew?”

Kirsten Gundersen — the queen of art direction — and Rachael — my managing editor and definitely my better half — arrived on Friday night, and we had a fantastic weekend.!

I have come to believe, at the ripe old age of 41 years old, that loneliness and fear are my primary demons.

Meeting people and connecting is so difficult for me. I’ll be given a business card, and I promise to follow up. But I usually don’t. I’m not sure why though, because I love meeting people and hearing their stories. The checkout gal at Albertson’s, I know her entire life story. She doesn’t even know my name.

Instead of reconnecting with these men and women that I am genuinely interested in, I just return to my office and crawl back into my shell. Again, I don’t know why.

And it’s not because these people I meet aren’t interesting, intelligent, attractive, funny and scintillating. It’s not that.

It’s me. I’m beginning to believe that I’m like my father. (Which is terrifying, by the way!) He spent his life in his attic office. I used to call him Anne Frank.

All that said, moving to LA with no family, no friends, no staff — I had no idea how difficult it was going to be.

But it’s gotten a lot better.

Kirstin and Rachael coming out and bonding with Renato — my new supervising producer — and Dave Freeman — I call him my cutter, but he is really my Final Cut Pro editor — made all the difference.

The pictures tell the story …

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